Mark Wrights Hollywood Nights

So Mark Wright hits our screens again - but this time not in Towie and not in a celeb reality show...no he has ventured out alone, when I mean alone I actually mean with 4 other friends and family, all who claim to be his best mate...what happened to Arg? Arg and Mark are the ultimate bromance. Maybe these 4 didn't make the cut for Towie!!!

Ok so 10 minutes in to this new programme the boys have arrived in LA, already have female connections and have hired a battered up Mondeo which does nothing for their street cred.

It turns out that the only star The Hollywood Star hotel they are booked into has, is actually in its name - that's one way to fool people into staying. Anyway 2 minutes after arriving there's a blazing row next door and what sounds like a gun shot, yes a gunshot, without fail a police officer knocks as the door seconds later as the boys are hatching a plan to jump out the window 2 storeys up. I am not being funny here but a gun shot or something rather loud has just happened next door and the only thing the cooper is concerned with is whether they have been drinking in their room and if they were over 21...nice priorities. Tommy, Mark's cousin gets taken outside and quizzed by the officer, who says he is trying to sort out who has what involvement or information on what has just occurred in an 'important matter', the director / cameraman tries to add to the 'realness' by stepping in and adding his 10cents worth, only for the officer to turn around and walk off down the street, yeah your really dealing with that scenario - clearly staged to make LA seem like the roughest neighbourhood. It's alright though the boys stayed together for moral support in one room!!!

It's ok though, the next day while the lads are having breakfast and happen to sit down next to a professional volleyballer and personal trainer who I am sure we will see again later in the series, Mark stepped into father role and sorts them all out with a swish bachelor Hollywood pad up in the hills. And yes ladies we did not go an episode without seeing his body, in true Wright style we had the million dollar I am pulling of my top casually to get into the pool- funny we didn't see anyone else in this way, although I am not sure we would like to.

In all fairness though this just looks like one big lads summer holiday. For the firs time ever we may get to see what happens on a lads holiday - however being under 21 Tommy will be stuck drinking milk while the others get lashed up....hahahaha so not cool!!

Massive LOL

How is the picture posted in the below post any worse than this!!! In fact this is worse and I am sure I can find worse....for someone who doesn't get her arse or boobs out and is a reserved person I think this picture says otherwise!!

Who ever created this disserves a round of applause!!!

Handbags at Dawn

Wow that was one explosive episode of CBB!! It was like being back at school in the playground watching girls throw their handbags around and pulling each others pigtails...not that I did this, although I cant deny that my mum made me wear pigtails...big mistake!!

I might be about to offend people here, but I am pretty sure I am only saying what half the people who watched CBB yesterday are thinking. How can Karissa be serious with what she said.....'I am the most reserved person in the house, I dont show my arse or boobs I shower in a bathing suit, I cant believe you have just seen my arse on TV' ....'My management is going to have something to say about this, there will be a law suit if you show my bum on national TV' , quite frankly WTF are you talking about, if I wanted to see your bum or even your boobs for that matter all I have to do is google you ......UUmmmm didnt you become famous as playboy mansion girl bearing all!!!!! How on earth is the TV any different from google images and videos. Money grabber springs to mind.

Talking of money grabbing, when they were told they were taking part in the Japanese chat show live, their instant reaction was, 'I am not doing any chat show without consulting my management, they would have something to say about this'. Seriously how did they make a decision in life before they had a management company, I dread to think! It must be like living life by a rule book - who listens to one of those?

Quite frankly I thought it was dreadful that they all ganged up on Denise, yes she didn't help herself, but Nicola had no reason to stick her snotty nose into it, quite frankly I thought it was really nice of Franky to stick up for Denise, and he was honest to Nicola to her face.Yes Nicola you have been licking the twins arse since Geogie and Natalie left.

Nicola's little tantrum was like watching ground hog day with Nikki Graham having a tantrum, we do not need another Nikki Graham in this world!

What will tonight bring we have had a good day followed by a really bad day - and the bad day only started with a girls night in - lets be fair it's not like they could have done a girls night out!

CBB Super Chat

I was a massive fan of the CBB Super Chat Japanese game show hoax idea. Then again as I speak Japanese and have lived in Japan this was a clear winner from the start. The Japanese can get away with anything and genuinely do have crazy chat shows.

Fair play to Gareth, Romeo and the twins they completed and took part in everything they were asked to do, ok the twins  made a meal of it- but I suppose they were high pitched and sounded like Japanese girls at least. I am not sure how Gareth is ever going to live it down dancing as the sushi man!! He genuinely seemed a little upset when he found out he wasn't actually famous in Japan...bless! Time is a good healer Gareth, we know you loved every minute of it.

                                    

I do wonder what they actually put on the twins face - I doubt it was actually monkey poo, but their reaction was TV gold.

I cannot actually comprehend what Michael said ....where did they get the outfits? How did they find a Japanese impersonater in the middle of London, did they fly here in a space ship?......does he not realise that there are actually quite alot of Japanese people that live in London and Japnese fancy dress is rather popular and there is such a thing as the internet these days!!

The girls never fail to amuse you, a classic follows:-

Nicola,  what is this an ocean or a sea?, a sea is really really deep and an ocean is regular right? they have the Dead Sea and the Pacific Ocean!

Even Frankie knew a sea and an ocean were the same, that says alot.

Then they entertianed us again with another cracker:- There's an area of the sea thats not been explored because its too deep..... no kidding... more than half the world is covered in water, I wouldn't tell them taht just yet though tehy are still getting over that the oceanand the sea are the same thing!!!

They seemed so proud of their conversation as if they were having an intellectual conversation, imagine if they had a proper intellectual conversation that could be a good task! Talk for a minute on a topic provided by BB.

Take Me Out Disasters!!

This is the guy that looked hot - seemed like a bit of a catch until he stood next to Paddy and I believe he came up to Paddys knees and I believe the whole audience went....ooooohhhh maybe not. He could barely see above the light stands. Then he chose Wen, bet she didnt bargain on finding this out about him.

How could ITV get something so simple as a background check wrong! An escort and a criminal record. Bad times, not a very expensive escort at that! If your going to be one at least be a decent one.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2084569/Take-Me-Out-contestant-Aaron-Withers-revealed-50-hour-escort.html

It would also seem that Tame Me Out hit the headlines again today, and once again not for good reasons.
It would appear that their back stage antics are anything to be desired - then again what do you expect from more than 20 desperate women, a load of men and a stack of booze....it was never going to be pretty and would always end up 'messy' shall we say!

I think TMO has some damage control to do.

Got to Dance

Got to Dance series 3 is back on our TV screens - which also means that Ashley Banjo is also gracing our TV screens, certainly can't complain.

Boadicea are definitely one to watch and a definite cert for the final, I cant say much about their gold shirts - in fact they are actually quite groteque but luckily their dancing was phenominal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dDIt4ZSSxw

I would also put money on the fact that Magpie will be making it quite far in this competition - they just pull at your heart strings and one of them summed it up perfectly at the end saying we are all born to dance, whats more I think if they won you know that they would be the happiest and most grateful and it would certainly be putting the money to good use!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlEt3ZN5h80

2012 is a welcome return

2012 is off to a good start with a new episode of Take me Out and Dancing on ice, ITV you do spoil us.
Has anyone also noticed that the contestants on Take me Out seem to have got hotter this series? I officially heart the fact they have also introduced a sister show - hosted by non other than the reality king himself.....Mark Wright.

Dancing on Ice also seems to have its fair share of female hotties this series as well as a new judging panel and host, I'm not going to lie, I haven't warmed to these yet. Yes Louie we get you are looking at choreography, this could bod well for a new drinking game while watching it, I swear he mentioned 'choreography ' everytime he spoke.

Of  course Celeb Big Brother is also underway, but I refuse to watch that garbage - how on earth is it still on TV I'm pretty sure this one should have been shelved a few years ago, so why do they insist on continuing it - I must also add that the people who go on the programme these days have so missed the boat and just come across a little desperate, feel free to convinve me otherwise. Surely when Channel 4 ditched it, it was a sign that BB had had its day, Channel 5 thought otherwise. Damn you Channel 5.

Wright v Human hamster eater!

Last night saw Freddie and Mark tackle the first of the bushtucker trials, The Greasy Spoon. You know that any restaurant sounding bushtucker is going to involve eating and not of the good kind. Mark went into the head to head  challenge against Starr and fought valiantly but I think he secretly knew he was never going to win against the hamster eater. Starr ate Wright under the table with not so much as a retch.

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The Greasy Spoon challenge consisted of 5 courses:- fermented egg and soldiers, buggle and squeak, bacon butt-y, grilled toe-mato and beans on toast. Doesn't sound so bad...or does it? The real ingredients are as follows:- fermented egg, cockroaches, mice tails and cheese fruit sauce, bush pig anus, camel toe and turkey testicles in saliva...yummy, where can I get my hands on these?

 

 

Freddie got stuck in from the word go and seemed to inhale all of his courses without so much as a wince or a second thought to what he was putting into his body, it was as though he had no taste buds. Mark on the other hand struggled on every course, heaving and wincing. He even went to the lengths of trying to hide some of the food under the toast, but Ant and Dec are smarter than that and made him eat it all. Mean time Freddie was tormenting Mark through every mouth full and stomach heave.  You would have thought that after being with Lauren, Mark could stomach anything including a camel toe!

You cant beat a good eating bushtucker trial!

Following the trial and on the return to the camp Freddie seemed in good spirits after winning the challenge and rectifying his previous task blunder. He mocked his team mate Mark and laughed as he said: 'Anyone who wears a bandanna and fake tan and puts cream on, they got no chance.' Shortly after this however Freddie took a funny turn and was taken to hospital. It would appear that Freddie had an allergic reaction to something he ate, but they cannot pinpoint the cause..funny that ... my bets are on the pig anus, after all it is full of shit! However the reaction could be a result of a spider bite, leech or tic. If it is food related lets be fair he not got to worry about eating any of that again apart from maybe camel toe

I'm a celebrity...Get me out of here!

I am so glad I'm a celebrity is back...I love this programme! For those of you who don't know who they all are here's a quick low down:-

Mark Wright - Towie star - favourite to win - Mummy's boy - On a break from women
Jessica Jane Clement - Former page 3 girl turned TV star on The Real Hustle - engaged to Lee Stafford
Dougie Poynter - Band member of McFly - Hes the last member of the band to take part in a reality show. Was recently dating Frankie from the Saturdays.
Fatima Whitbread - Olympic medalist in Javelin - She is the man
Willie Carson - Famous retired jokey
Anthony Cotton - Coronation Street star, very camp
Crissy Rock - Star of denedorm
Lorraine Chase - Shes a lady - Star of Emmerdale
Stephanie Powell - American actress
Freddie Star - Comedian - Famous for the headline Freddie ate my hamster

Following the awkward meet and greet at the mansion and their last supper the 10 celebrities were split into 2 groups to determine how they would enter the jungle for their first in the wild.

Fatima Whitbread, Mark Wright, Crissy Rock, Lorraine Chase and Antony Cotton were in one group who would skydive into camp, while Stefanie Powers, Dougie Poynter, Willie Carson and Jessica-Jane Clement would canoe in.

If you haven't watched it yet I suggest you do - Mark Wright's reaction before jumping was priceless! He looked absolutely petrified and I am sure when Lauren watches it she won't stop laughing I was half expecting him to shout for his Mum or Arg. It was at this point that Mark alpha male status went out of the window. But in all fairness he did complete the challenge along with Anthony Cotton who upon landing started crying and Lorraine Chase who threw up in the bushes for a good 5 minutes after. Crissy Rock however did not complete the challenge and chickened out at the last minute, but subsequently had to wait for her teeth to be delivered back to her,  it would seem that you have to remove dentures before sky diving!

 Team 2 it would seem drew the short straw in more ways than one. I would much prefer jumping out of a plan to canoeing. I'm pretty sure Dougie would have been the first to push Stephanie out just for some peace and quiet. But he did get his own back when he attempted to get into the canoe with her and instead capsized her...priceless!

One way or another they all eventually arrived at the temporary camp for the night where they all had a bed waiting for them in a cave, which could only be described as smelling of dead animal carcase. To no surprise they all decided that the smell was too much and slept outside under the stars next to the campfire. I am not entirely sure which i would have preferred the safety of the cave with the smell of carcase or the open wilderness.

Day 2 was not about to become their friend as in the first typically grotesque Bushtucker trial – Scales of Justice – the campmates remained split into their teams and faced being dunked in fish gut water.

The trial saw the two teams of five being suspended above two tanks which contained fish guts, and slime.
The task required the celebrities to reach into locked boxes in front of them - using only their mouths - and obtain stars and keys that could be used to unlock other boxes. The team who unlocked all the boxes first would escape a dunking, get the luxury camp and win dinner for the camp.

Freddie somehow completely fluffed this up and only managed to scoop out 1 of the 2 stars from his box of mealworms while the other team finished. Freddie was still hunting for his second star even after the other team had achieved victory. I just don't under stand how he couldn't find the stars - the ends were sticking up!

Following the task, the winning team – Mark, Fatima, Antony, Crissie and Lorraine – were whisked off to luxury camp Croc Creek. Meanwhile, the losers – Dougie, Jessica, Willie, Freddie and Stefanie were taken to Snake Rock where they will have basic rations and no perks. Which resulted in more whinging from Stephanie the vegetarian.

The teams will remain separated for the foreseeable future to compete for food and luxuries, with Mark and Freddie going head to head in  tonight’s Greasy Spoon Bushtucker Trial...can't wait I cannot imagine Mark doing this for one second.

One thing I will say is its nice to see that the Mark you see in Towie is the real Mark Wright. He has so far come across as a genuinely lovely guy who just loves to hug people and my bets are on Anthony becoming his new Arg. How Lauren kept him for so many years is beyond me I am unsure how long he will last though - he has already announced he misses his Mum, aww bless! I cant wait to see more of him. I also find it strange that they have split Jessica and Mark up - surely that would have been TV gold.

Get me outta here!!!

It's that time of year again... time for I'm a celebrity down under. As usual there are a few we know the others not so much, but may grow on us. 


There are only 2 contestants at present that I am interested in and they are Mark Wright and Jessica Jane Clement or aka the eye candy for this year. I am pretty sure we may be in for a reenactment of Jordan and Peter again. 


I'm sure after Mark's hectic love life this is going to be a well deserved break for him, however I am not sure how well it will go down with Lauren or Sam. You cant blame them Jessica Jane is hot stuff - I certainly think we will see another iconic bikini shower shot again! Lets be truthful Mark is not one to shy away from a hot girl whether she has a ring on her finger or not! Jessica Jane's fiance Lee Stafford better not be the jealous type. Who knows how Mark will react being away from Essex for so long, I reckon there could be withdrawal symptoms!

Oh the sincerity!

For someone who has been kicked of the X-Factor Frankie Cocozza seems pretty happy with himself and seems to be almost proud of his one week bender and sex romp scandal! I am no guy however I am sure that there are a lot of guys giving him a high five for the latter!

I am however curious to find out what he has been doing in the studios - he is clearly not ready and grown up enough to cope with fame - I wonder which idiot has taken him on...surely not Simon Cowell?

 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2060189/Frankie-Cocozza-axed-X-Factor-My-6-night-cocaine-bender.html

The X-tra addition

So we have all seen the papers -X-Factor bosses have decided to fill Frankie Cocaine Cocazza's place with one of the 4 that got kicked off in the first week! This now means that either Amelia, James, 2 Shoes or Jonjo could now make it back into the live shows and maybe even the final....how is that fair? Surely the simplest option was to reinstate Johnny Robinson as if it hadn't have been a double eviction he would still be in anyway?


I am sure Frankie is hanging his head in shame someone, this is one decision he is likely to regret for the rest of his life. It has also been announced that he has been edited from the M&S advert, however if you actually watch it closely he is still in the group shot and they still use his voice, they have simply edited out the close up shot of his solo. Not great editing if you ask me!


Back to the 4 with the second life line. My bets are on Amelia or James. In all fairness I cant even remember Jonjo's performance and the pregnant one from 2 Shoes is surely quite heavily pregnant now and will just get worse - plus they annoy the hell out of me. They are try hard wannabes who see themselves as a cross between the next additions to TOWIE and Sheilas Wheels , and they clearly are not!

3 is the lucky number!!!

It would seem that our prays have been answered, after last weekends double eviction it has also hit the papers this morning that the rock wannabe stop out that is Frankie Cocozza has been axed from the show after breaking a 'Golden Rule'!

Does this mean that in another shock sensation that they will have no eviction this weekend?... or perhaps they will bring Johnny Robinson back, only time will tell!


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2058998/X-Factor-2011-Frankie-Cocozza-kicked-breaking-golden-rule.html

X-tra elimination!!!!

This week’s x-factor we saw an x-tra elimination with their double elimination on Sunday. I know that everyone was screaming at the TV when they announced that Frankie was once again safe.... seriously who is voting for him? My personal opinion is that Simon must have a call centre set up at one of his houses and has hired a load of elves to call in to save him...seems like a pretty logical idea! Let's be fair the arguments that Frankie causes between the judges is enough reason for Simon to keep Frankie in - I am sure it's helping the ratings.

You do have to feel sorry for Louis - however I did wonder if maybe both of his acts were going to get the chop - I would love to know what was going through his head. Despite the departure of Johnny Robinson I am sure we haven't seen the last of him just yet.

On a more positive note the performance by Florence and the Machine was amazing. However one thing that has pondered me for years as I cant say I follow her ... who is the machine?

Performance of the week goes to Marcus Collins :- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vT5IfjvNjBI

This week we wave farewell to Johnny Robinson and The Risk.

TOWIE

Well that was an eventful penultimate episode to say the least.

For those of you who did watch it I think you would agree that Lauren G clearly has no idea how to keep her dignity or play it cool, from someone who has just been through a break up that is not the way to play it or act in front of his family - I can safely say that if Mark goes back there he is an absolute fool, and if his family and friends didn’t already know it, she is a psycho! She embarrassed herself beyond belief and I am pretty sure everyone around wish she had just shut her mouth and let the ground swallow her up.

On the subject of Lauren G again...what is going on with her face - she’s always been a funny looking one and I can never decide if I think she is attractive but either the lighting and camera angle were unflattering or she is rather unfortunate and bad at makeup!!!

I am sorry - but although I understand Marias rationale behind the party - I couldn't quite believe that someone would have a wedding party as their 30th party theme! I understand that she is upset she hasn't married before she was 30, but please, a wedding themed party dos seem a little extreme and even more extreme to turn up in a horse and carriage, have bridesmaids and throw a bouquet, but each to their own I guess.

Reality Ville is back!

Apologies for being absent from your lives for some time and during some special reality TV golds, but what can I say break ups and house moving do take it toll - I am no Lauren Goodger though and kept my dignity in the process!

Mic is back!!!

Va Va Voom - Made in Chelsea is back and so is Spencer ....yes I said Spencer, he has gone from grease monkey with a comb-over to hot totty and all it took was a couple of months, distance does make the heart grow fonder!!! I would now actually date him, apart from the fact a) that is never going to happen and b) we have all seen what he is like!! Welcome back to my life MIC!!!

 

Magaluf - Shagaluf

I don't even know where to start with this - they are fowl! If you thought their antics in the north was bad, the Magaluf happenings have nothing on them, they don't even come close to touching the sides!

The first night Jay had a 3-some, with 2 sisters after kicking Vikki out of the bed! It's one thing doing it it's another kicking someone out of bed- seriously guys where is the respect!

What gets me is their lack of hygiene, no one seems to change the sheets, but they all share beds - they are lying on someone else's love juice - who really wants that! Then again Gary the ramping rabbit is happy to do it anywhere, and its about time that Charlotte got over him and stopped denying that his antics don't get to her - the lady doth protest too much!

I don't even know what is going on with James - he couldn't pull in England and now he cant pull in Magaluf! I think he could do with some lessons from Gray and Jay!

I would also like to highlight that the girls seem to wear more clothes during the day than when they go out in the evening , what is that about? Isn't the idea to sunbath and get a tan! Strange people!

 It would also appear that after seeing herself on TV and all her psycho outbursts that Vikki has been to anger management counselling or something similar as she seems to be a new person.

Part one is down - I wonder what part 2 will hold, more sordid antics I am sure!

X Factor

There is a reason that after all these years X Factor is still around. I have often wondered if it is morally acceptable to televise the audition stage, then I realised that no one is actually forcing them and if  they were in fact normal and not deluded, away with the fairies with their heads in the cloud it would probably be extremely boring.

I think we have already found this years Jedward equivalent, Mr Johnny Robinson! Where do I start... if Carry On films were still being produced he would most certainly have found his fame and fortune, he has an uncanny likeness to Kenneth Williams. The combination of his high pitched girly voice, camp gestures are just brilliant! His comments at the beginning about his home had me curled up in fits and giggles..' I live in a bedsit, oh wait that doesn't sound great, maybe i should call it a studio, but that doesn't sound good either, it's a flat, yes a small flat, that's better isn't it?', couple that with his voice- it's genius. But he is no laughing matter as the voice that sits within him was awesome and had me in stunned silence. You get these weird characters who come on and say they can sing and end up like a car crash, but Johnny can sing - watch this space. I hope that he does well as he seems so genuine and excited.

Talking of car crashes I have no idea what was going through Duos heads - They were a prime example of the deluded people that go on the show - seriously how could they compare themselves to JayZ and Beyonce when they sounded like a cat being strangled.

I have to say I am a massive fan of Tulisa, Kelly Rowland and Gary as judges. How is it that Gary has an air of Simon about him - just the way he holds himself. Kelly Rowland seems to be a hit with the guys especially Derry the Burger King guy!.

Cant wait for next week, the comments at Tulisa's singing look heated!

Check this weeks best auditionees out!

Johnny Robinson : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drcvM-yiKTU

Duos : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09CPF2yKy0Q&feature=related

The Keys - One to watch out for : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSSR4TMcids&feature=related

Derry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWkZGmQ42y0&feature=related

The Bachelor - Gavin Henson

OMG!!! I love this new programme and Gavin's not bad either I suppose! Gavin has always been someone that has interested me, especially since watching 71 Degrees North but not in that way - more of a I don't quite understand him way, and cant believe anything that comes out of his mouth.I would say however that since his split and during his split from Charlotte Church that he has been very genuine and private about it all rather than trying to sell his story to OK! magazine for a few bucks - which he must be after by now after being out of the Welsh squad for so long.

You would have thought that having 25 girls competing for you as an international rugby fan would be a usual occurrence, to Gavin however he seemed nervous - I am not quite sure if its because he had over moisturised or because he had just applied another layer of fake tan but he did seem overly shiny or sweaty. It did make me laugh that the opening song had the lyrics 'like I'm the only girl in the world' - clearly not the only girl as their is 24 others to compete against, and I definitely would not have described the experience as a quest of a lifetime - but each to their own, who am I to judge.

I do find it very hard to believe that he has only ever had 2 relationships - its Gavin Henson - I would say his longest and most trustworthy relationship must be with the mirror and the gym and therefore not much room for anyone else. Although I would imagine that he has had numerous one night stands.

Some of the girls I must admit I agree with Gavin are not all quite there. I found it cringe worthy watching Laura. Who demands that someone picks them up and carries them on their first encounter? and then tries to play hard to get by saying 'Thank God its over I can go in now', especially when behind camera she was saying how much she wanted to be picked.Strange!!

So the 25 were reduced to 15, My bets are on that Layla, Simon Webbs ex , Nikki the single hot mum, and Keisha will do well! Place your bets now!