Half Ton Teen

This show is so frustrating, you can seriously see and understand how these people got into the mess they are, when you witness their attitudes and home life. They are offered the opportunity some people would jump at the chance for, but they don't seem to see it that way.


Billy needs a medal for his drama queen baby-like behaviour. I'm pretty sure if I weighed 600 pounds I would have a sore toe too. He's treated like a 6 year old, and his mum caters to his every need, fetches every ounce of liquid or food that enters his body - surely she is the biggest problem of all and has turned Billy into what he is today. What I don't understand is how she isn't as small as a rack when you consider all the running around she does for him.


What sort of parent offers there 500 pound teen pizza and barbecue burgers when he has just undergone the first stage of a gastric band. To add to it the first meal she fed him when he came out of hospital...wait for it ...was a hot dog ....seriously what is wrong with you?




What a good excuse for not staying in hospital - I want to see my cats! That excuse is not going to work and the only reason he wants to leave is so that he isn't forced to walk around and eat healthy food, when he could be at home surrounded by computer games, Internet, DVDs and his mum to wait on him hand and foot. If I was in charge I would bin his computer games, TV , DVDs and Internet, and make him exercise, no sob story would wash with me. The best thing his mum has done so far is to remove the chair from his room that I think he literally lived in, when I mean lived in I mean he was washed there, slept there and spent all day there! How can some people live this existence?

John Wayne is another annoying person, there are some people out there who would if they could pay to have a gastric band and you have these teenagers who are given them who don't appreciate the second chance they have been given, it was only this week we saw the tragic loss of Murphy because of pneumonia and the difficulties he faced trying to fight it being 600 pounds. 

13 selected - Let the competition begin!

I can't wait for the competition to start - the VT of what's to come over the next few weeks looked awesome! You always know that they will never decide on 12 and an additional 1 will go through, so this year we have 13 hopefuls. In addition to this this years prize is bigger and better than ever, a holiday, a car, a modelling contract, Miss Selfridge deal, Company magazine spread and money - if I was tall enough I think I would enter just for the prize alone!


Has anyone noticed that Tanya looks a little like Mel C, especially because of her tattoos - I've always thought that tattoos were a no-no in fashion modelling, but maybe they have invented a special type of stage make-up that covers them.


I am so glad that Jade made it through, she has such a unique quirky look, if she can become more versatile I would put money on her, but only time will tell if she is a one look pony.


The other one I would have put my money on was Brenda, but due to passport problems she has been eliminated early, I hope she comes back next year, she could have gone far.


By biggest laugh of the night came from Joanne and Lori. After their shoot in the box they came out bragging that it 'went really well, there was no criticism at all,  we’re not going home tomorrow' , then in another shot you had Grace and Julianne commenting that they were the worst of the day, oh the irony! But despite this somehow Joanne made it through, but Lori was sent packing and in all  honesty I was rather glad, as Lori the Abbey Clancy twin just annoyed me.


One thing that really annoys me is that they all enter the room, knowing that they are probably going to cry either way, but did you see one of them with a tissue - No!


Last thought of the day - I loved Grace's geek glasses look - she rocked it!

 

Love split

I never thought this was a legit relationship - it all seemed staged and definitely never seemed well matched, she is so much hotter than him.

I'm sure she wont be crying over spilt milk.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2016243/The-Only-Way-Essex-Sam-Faiers-confirms-Joey-Essex-split.html

Bridemaids

Lets hops that Lauren chooses something a little nicer for the actual wedding, if it ever does happen that is.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2016222/TOWIEs-Lauren-Goodger-centre-stage-Bridesmaids-inspired-shoot.html

BNTM

The auditions are over and I cannot wait to see who has got through to the final 12, as always the makeover reveal will not be without tears and tantrums. I must say I feel like I have intruded on someones therapy session after all of the sob stories I have heard over the auditions. 

Tanya the Manchester chav really didn't get the fact that she didn't look like a model and would never be able to appear in Vogue as she didn't have a high fashion look, despite the fact she got turned down she persisted and came back later that day, in different baseball like attire to quiz the judges on their decision. I must say Elle got it in one by saying that 'no matter what they said she wasn't going to agree or understand as she wasn't hearing what she wanted to hear', and with that Julian decided to hug her to try and shut her up and get rid of her.

Fast Food Exit!

Don’t you just hate people that one minute will brag about something and then the next turn around and withdraw what they said and twist it to try and make themselves sound better. Shame for Natasha that what ever she said, could not dig her out of this one.

This weeks task was to create a fast food chain brand concept, menu and start trading…simple? Well for someone who has done a 4 year hospitality degree you would think so. Especially after boasting that part of her degree was to actually create her own restaurant and run it…. is that not exactly what this task was? Considering the above, I struggled to pinpoint a single positive aspect that Natasha contributed to the team.

According to Natasha in the boardroom after finding out they had failed the task she insisted that Construction Property Recruitment was her job not hospitality as she ‘doesn’t like hospitality’, despite the fact she studied it for 4 years, and only 24 hours earlier seemed very enthusiastic about it. I’m glad that her 4 years of study means that she is able to concentrate on front of house. This is obviously where the education system is failing, or rather where universities are making money out of people. But wait for it…there is another reason why she was unable to use the degree that she spent 4 years studying for, and that’s because it’s been a long time since she finished the degree. This is obviously the reason why she made no attempt to use any of it and refused that she couldn’t possibly cook so had to stay front of house, I’m pretty sure a 5 year old could box up nachos, and stick them in a microwave for a minute if shown (I am not condoning the use of electrical equipment by children or child labour for that fact).

When you consider the above it’s no surprise that Natasha was given the boot, of which I am very happy, but exactly why did her team fail? Considering it was meant to be a fast food restaurant this restaurant ‘Caracus’ did not live up to its name, it’s a bit hard when the name decided on, is actually the capital of Venezuela. If I had to wait 10 minutes for a fajita in a fast food restaurant, I’m pretty sure I would have left after 5 minutes too, especially if it had also been served cold. Although I realise Jim had his hands full with Susie and Natasha he really should have had more planning in place and better people management. Why did he not remove one of the girls from front of house and put her in the kitchen, it does not take 2 people to take orders and pass food orders across. Surely it’s common sense that if there is a bottle neck of orders then there needs to be a shift in staff positions. In all honesty I think Susie’s flapping was unnerving and added to the situation. With an average score of 4/10 and a fajitas that you can’t actually pick up to eat you can see why they failed. Let’s not even mention Jim’s shamble with maths and lack of business planning when quizzed by the industry experts, Dominoes, McDonald's and Lord Sugar. Profit margins per product, isn’t exactly a trick question, in fact it’s rather an important question to uncover whether or not the business will survive in the long run. Jim then had the guts to even highlight that fact that Lord Sugar had not actually paid for his food!

Thank the lord that Helen and Tom actually managed to create a decent brand that was simple, strong and contemporary. They not only identified a gap in the market – a 100% British restaurant, selling Mini pies, mash and mushy peas. They also managed to tailor it for the needs of both men and women. Although they did make one mistake, by naming the mash ‘Columbus mash’ after Christopher Columbus, who isn’t actually British! But that’s minor compared to the chaos that surrounded Jim’s team. When questioned by the industry experts Helen was able to provide profit margins for each product and delivered the food in 3 minutes, which gained her a rating of 7/10. 

Both Tom and Helen are now through to the final along with Jim and Susie, how Susie has done this I have no idea. If I was to put money on it I would say Helen will and should win, however this years twist to the prize I am unsure if Lord Sugar will go for the best business plan or best business partner.

You've been britangoed!!

Ollie has now got his new girlfriend donning Union Jack accessories to match his new Union Jack suit, how sweet. Let's be fair its not the most flattering dress that Chloe is wearing, i'm sure there has to be something better on the Topshop rails, infact I know so!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2012500/Made-In-Chelseas-Ollie-Locke-steps-new-girlfriend-Chloe-Green-Harry-Potter-premiere.html

Tashing off

Wow – what an amazing show and fantastic way to end this episode – talk about laying things bare. I’m not sure where to even start, this show basically highlighted and discussed all of the best bits from the show from the fights, cheating, tashing on, parsnips and mortal moments.

I suggest that if you are a fan of Geordie Shore that you watch this without fail – it’s utter cringe worth and made all the better that their parents are in the audience and get quizzed, and if your Sophie you decide to turn the table and tell the nation about how you heard your parents making out one night and wanted to make them stop so started ringing the house phone to make them separate.

The jokes were endless and the one liners just brilliant. I really hope they do another one of these series however I ma not sure another one will top this one – the originals are always the best. I wonder how much we will hear from these lot in the future? So tan on, tash on and get mortal....until the summer special!! I cannae wait

Just to end, some of the one liners from the show:

James and Greg were busy playing Dungeons and dragons  instead of  tashing on with girls.

Jay was asked if he went to an island would he choose – Vikki or veet?

Flakier than Ann Widdecombe’s scalp

Vikki –I’ve just got a wide spectrum of emotions unlike some of the housemates

No more parsnip love

( The love between Charlotte and Gary has gone, no more parsnip love)

Charlotte waking up half drunk to Gary in the next bed with a girl: Your bum going like a sewing machine in a power surge

Knock one out in a sock

Greg’s dad asked them to make a show like Geordie Shore but for the oldies, maybe we could call it :-Grandad Shore

about Sophie's behaviour: Wild boar on heat with chlamydia

Audrina

 I may be speaking for myself here, but we all know and love Audrina from The Hills.  Now that Geordie Shore and Made in Chelsea are over what better way to fill the void than watching the new reality show, Audrina.

 Audrina’s new show allows us to get behind the closed doors of her family and see her life from a different perspective to that we have seen portrayed in The Hills. You can choose your friends but you can never choose your family. Audrina’s family seem very diverse but close. Lets face it in the opening credits her mum looks like a stunner still, shame that she seems a little aggressive in the show  and a bit weird at times – in many ways she reminds me a little of Sharon Osbourne especially with her comment: ‘your lazy and your dog pisses on my carpet’. That’s one comment that Sharon would say.

I was very surprised to see her sister Kasey all covered in tattoos – she seemed the complete opposite to her sisters Audrina and Samantha. I’m not sure I heard one word out of Samantha all episode, although we do need to remember she is only 15.

I’m not completely sold on this programme yet however I did think the same about Made in Chelsea but I grew to love it – so I’m not writing it off just yet! On a positive note I thought Audrina looked gorgeous with honey blonde hair, much better than her black hair she had in the Hills.

If anyone knows what commercials or movies she has been in I would be interested to know. 

This retails at £50......It's a £1 shop!!

 Well once again The Apprentice did not disappoint and I found my self scratching my head and talking to the TV in utter disbelief that they just didn't seem to grasp the task.

This weeks task was based around wholesale goods and selling these on at a retail price. The aim was to test the market with the products they had been provided with and work out what products sold, then reinvest the revenue in more stock - preferably the ones that not only sold but had the biggest profit margin. It seemed that this strategy was one that passed the Project Managers by.

Heading up team Logic we had Melody who was joined by Helen and Tom, however it became clear as the task went on that Melody did not have a good grasp or understanding of the reinvestment task. I have identified 4 major errors with Logic's approach:

1. You cant sell a watch that retails at £50 to a pound shop even if you do knock the selling price down to £25 to try and allow for a £25 profit...it's a pound shop surely the clue is in the name.

2. Selling wholesale products at a retail price to a shop is not going to bring about the volume of sales required as retailers buy from wholesalers themselves. In addition to this a 4 hour round trip to pick up 20 duvets sets with only a £3 profit margin does not make monetary sense.

3. When your team mate rings and tells you that he has sold 3 nodding dogs in 30 minutes, how did they not have money signs in their eyes?  It's London, there is an abundance of tourists and novelty souvenirs like a British nodding bull dog is likely to sell. So why didn't they listen to Tom? Instead they reinvested in bike lamps and alarm clocks.  I am just happy that Helen managed to put Melody off purchasing a range of travel products.

4. When your team mate offers to become project manager surely this should ring alarm bells that your team does not respect your decisions, and nearly became another 1st for Helen on the show, however Melody was resilient and stood her ground.

Unfortunately this task did see the end of Helen's 8 win streak which means that team Venture did win the task but by no means in a glorious manner. At least after selling the products on the first day they decided to reinvest in the best selling products for the second day. However it seemed that Natasha, Project Manager, failed to understand the reinvestment side of the task and instead wanted to run the stalls dry. She also didn't seem to understand that having surplus stock wasn't bad as it would be added to the total.  Lord Sugar himself was definitely not satisfied with the results and as team Venture had 'no balls, no guts and no reinvestment 'they also did not receive this weeks prize. However despite Natasha preaching that they were a team, she somehow was also able to blame the loss of Susie. This week I am sticking up for Susie as she actually sold well and thought outside the box by investing in wholesale jewellery which had a profit margin of £3.50 / £4.50 a bracelet.

Finally we can say a wholesome fare well to Melody.