Has anyone else noticed that David Hasselhoff and Ollie have the same Union Jack jacket? Lets hope this is all they have in common!

 

Do I look like Jesus?

When they say some of these scenes are staged for entertainment purposes only, they really aren't lying. 


It just so happened that Gabby was sat at a piano singing her heart about Ollie as Binky walked in - and again later when Ollie walked in. At least he has put poor Gabby out of her misery by confessing 'The relationship wasn't right....I don’t  know how I feel towards guys and girls', aka i'm bisexual. He is still protesting thats he is not100% gay but would like to explore the otherside, and will probably never look back.

Gabby and Ollie are no more!

He might not be content with Gabby but he is happy that his new haircut makes him look like Jesus, I still think Gabby's hair is nicer though.


Hugo seems to be coming the Romeo of the programme somehow with Millie and Rosie dropping at his feet. Just as Spencer convinces Rosie that Hugo and Millie are just friends they cut to a shot of Millie and Hugo making out. Although he seems happy that Millie bought him at the auction he not quite sold on the idea of putting a financial value on his time – that’s an auction Hugo!

Finally Francis's friend Mark had a casual yet classic one liner - 'Yes I shop in London, Milan and sometimes Paris' , as you do. 

Next week we will see if it is to become the end of Funda and Spencer as they argue over money, independence and Funda's dancing career. We will also see if Francis can continue to be the ultra smooth charmer on his date with Rebecca. They literally spoke all of 2 words to each other and that was to arrange a date - the fastest mover ever!

They gonna be in there like swimwear - shame it didn't stay on!

We'll these creatures are certainly no angles of the north. They are however a true representation of Britain's binge drinking antics!! I am pretty sure if you sent a camera out on a Saturday night that you could find people exactly like these.

Initial thoughts were that the men were iron pumping, muscle obsessive wannabes. The girls were black hair, tangoed and in need of a slightly bigger top to hold their breasts in. After all no proper Newcastle Geordie steps out without fake tan, which makes it quite appropriate that the show is sponsored my Fake Bake.

Within hours of entering the house first impressions were out of the window, instead of small talk to get to know each other they thought they would get to know each other on a different level  all together. The girls were getting in the hot tub fully dressed, swearing and then holding each others hair back as they were vomiting, which resulted in Charlotte and Sophie tucked up in bed while the party continued. This was later followed by Holly getting her boobs out in the hot tub and pouring champagne from them, seriously how does her boyfriend allow this? According to her they have an understanding, that even allows her to share a bed and spoon with someone, we all know that spooning leads to forking and that it did! There was definitely something going on under the duvet. Conveniently the next day when she spoke to her boyfriend she didn't mention this, I wonder why.

Holly and Gary weren't the only ones to get it on, after spending the whole night cuddled up to Greg, Vicky ended up in bed with Jay and arguing like a married couple.

Greg seemed to be the pick of the litter and even contemplated leaving the show as he didn't feel he fitted in with the meat heads - he soon however showed that he did and earned himself some street credit by joining the fight in the club to protect James, that's true bonding for you.

The newest hook up was between Gary and Charlotte. Gary has now hooked up with half the house not forgetting the '3 some' in the shag pad. This all happened in one episode, next weeks show is set to be another cracker if they allow it to air.

Word on the streets is that a Cardiff Born and Bred serious is coming to our screens soon!

Beauty and the Beast

13 candidates remaining, one beauty treatment task, one ugly disaster!

Yet again another classic challenge from the Master Sir Alan resulted in chaos and some classic one -liners.

I must say I thought Zoe as team leader for Venture did well by challenging Susie the horn-blowing beauty guru who was unable to deliver the quantity of sales she boasted about in a very blasé manner. I think Karen summed it up very well, ‘If you set yourself up as something your not, you’re going to fall’, and that she did – but not before she made herself look even worse by stating ‘people round here are poor’.

I cannot on the other hand praise Felicity, team leader of Logic. She failed to secure the treatment she wanted, over spent on Lady Gaga esque hairpieces and failed to realise that her treatment wasn’t selling and then blamed it on Ellie. Good decision Sir Alan to fire Felicity, again Karen made a very good point, if you ever went into business with her you would have to run it yourself before she decided anything by herself your business would have gone bust.

Considering this was a beauty task I did think the men handled themselves well. Some of them had a slow start, Leon in particular but by the end he was literally pulling them in by his little pinky !! A far cry from his first comment to a girl; ‘We can get you naked and spray you’ – probably not the smartest thing to say to try and convince a girl to have a spray tan.

Then we had Tom who struggled with nail varnish selling, ‘I can’t talk you through what they are, I can just tell you they are pretty’, in all honesty there is not much to say about nail varnish itself you just need to convince the girl she needs another colour or even a new non-gloopy nail varnish.

Next weeks task looks to be another classic – Dog food! I don’t think that needs any more explanation.

Final thought of the day came from Natasha – ‘Save the popularity contest this is about business’ – I hope she hasn’t just realised this!

Bye Bye Felicity!

Chelsea Wars

I still can’t make my mind up whether I love or hate this programme – there is just something about it! It’s clearly all staged and false but I am finding myself drawn into it and wishing I could watch the next episode on plus 1.

Caggie and Spencer :

Caggie and Spencer need to stop dragging it out and actually get together – it's been clear since episode 1 that he wasn’t into Funda – It was pretty clear from his charming statement - ‘ I wouldn’t sleep with anyone other than my girlfriend right now’. If you read behind the lines on this, what he actually is saying is that in a week or 2, he will consider  sleeping with someone else. Fairplay to Funda for confronting Caggie - that takes guts.

On a slightly different note - Spencer should have been in the Man Auction, just to see the reaction from Caggie and Funda, we might have seen a bidding war.

Francis:

After last week when he decided to have his portrait painted while holding a globe, which he subsequently decided to swap for a pineapple did not disappoint this week, again Francis delivered some cracking quotes :-

‘Business is the warfare of the modern age and I’m a general’

‘Business is a jungle, but I love animals …You’re a fox, your quite strategic ‘

Agne his Intern / PA also pulled a cracker : - In the middle of a business meeting in-front of their clients she blurted out: ‘Can I have a pay rise for this event?’

Ollie:

I’m sorry but what sort of person turns up to an event for the sole purpose to dump someone? Why not let her enjoy her night and speak to her when she gets home? Now she will never wear that dress again as she will forever remember it’s the dress she got dumped in! Who wants that memory?

Did you see the teaser for next week? – Gabrielle is asking him why he really dumped her…obvious.com!  Ollie is clearly punching for the other side but she just cant see it.

From BAFTA to Bingo

Look at Lauren Goodger's new business venture. Who would actually buy this perfume?  - If your brave enough please let me know what it's like.

Shut up ...Shut up...TOWIE BAFTA Win!!

The Only Way is Essex stole the show last night at the BAFTA's when they picked up The Youtube Audience Award, beating other series such as My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding and Downton Abbey to the title.


Mark Wright accepted the award saying: 'We're absolutely overwhelmed to be here tonight, even to be nominated. But to win, it's incredible.'I'm in shock. There's no way I thought we were going to win. And when they called our names out, and all the screaming... I'm still in shock.' 


The cast jumped up and down on stage in utter excitement, but it wasn't just the award that Amy was proud of. In an after show interview she said: 'I'm very proud of the word vajazzle right now, I love vajazzling it's my favourite'


It wasn't just their BAFTA trophy that was shining last night though - the cast of TOWIE were also dressed to impressed and in true TOWIE style that's not just the girls.


Amy scooped gold in her strapless number, Lauren sparkled in her floor length dress while Sam looked stunningly elegant in her wrap around white dress. But for me it was Lydia who shone last night and takes home the award for best dressed in her grey flowery dynasty gown. 

Lets not forget the boys - Arg sparkled in his vajazzled tie while Mark opted for a George Clooney open tie look...Do we really believe its because he couldn't do it up though?  ...and Joey Essex looked 'reem' in his snake skin shoes. But I would have to say that Nanny Pat out-shone them all - what a rockstar! 




I cant wait to see what the next series brings - Can it top this one?