Wright v Human hamster eater!

Last night saw Freddie and Mark tackle the first of the bushtucker trials, The Greasy Spoon. You know that any restaurant sounding bushtucker is going to involve eating and not of the good kind. Mark went into the head to head  challenge against Starr and fought valiantly but I think he secretly knew he was never going to win against the hamster eater. Starr ate Wright under the table with not so much as a retch.

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The Greasy Spoon challenge consisted of 5 courses:- fermented egg and soldiers, buggle and squeak, bacon butt-y, grilled toe-mato and beans on toast. Doesn't sound so bad...or does it? The real ingredients are as follows:- fermented egg, cockroaches, mice tails and cheese fruit sauce, bush pig anus, camel toe and turkey testicles in saliva...yummy, where can I get my hands on these?

 

 

Freddie got stuck in from the word go and seemed to inhale all of his courses without so much as a wince or a second thought to what he was putting into his body, it was as though he had no taste buds. Mark on the other hand struggled on every course, heaving and wincing. He even went to the lengths of trying to hide some of the food under the toast, but Ant and Dec are smarter than that and made him eat it all. Mean time Freddie was tormenting Mark through every mouth full and stomach heave.  You would have thought that after being with Lauren, Mark could stomach anything including a camel toe!

You cant beat a good eating bushtucker trial!

Following the trial and on the return to the camp Freddie seemed in good spirits after winning the challenge and rectifying his previous task blunder. He mocked his team mate Mark and laughed as he said: 'Anyone who wears a bandanna and fake tan and puts cream on, they got no chance.' Shortly after this however Freddie took a funny turn and was taken to hospital. It would appear that Freddie had an allergic reaction to something he ate, but they cannot pinpoint the cause..funny that ... my bets are on the pig anus, after all it is full of shit! However the reaction could be a result of a spider bite, leech or tic. If it is food related lets be fair he not got to worry about eating any of that again apart from maybe camel toe

I'm a celebrity...Get me out of here!

I am so glad I'm a celebrity is back...I love this programme! For those of you who don't know who they all are here's a quick low down:-

Mark Wright - Towie star - favourite to win - Mummy's boy - On a break from women
Jessica Jane Clement - Former page 3 girl turned TV star on The Real Hustle - engaged to Lee Stafford
Dougie Poynter - Band member of McFly - Hes the last member of the band to take part in a reality show. Was recently dating Frankie from the Saturdays.
Fatima Whitbread - Olympic medalist in Javelin - She is the man
Willie Carson - Famous retired jokey
Anthony Cotton - Coronation Street star, very camp
Crissy Rock - Star of denedorm
Lorraine Chase - Shes a lady - Star of Emmerdale
Stephanie Powell - American actress
Freddie Star - Comedian - Famous for the headline Freddie ate my hamster

Following the awkward meet and greet at the mansion and their last supper the 10 celebrities were split into 2 groups to determine how they would enter the jungle for their first in the wild.

Fatima Whitbread, Mark Wright, Crissy Rock, Lorraine Chase and Antony Cotton were in one group who would skydive into camp, while Stefanie Powers, Dougie Poynter, Willie Carson and Jessica-Jane Clement would canoe in.

If you haven't watched it yet I suggest you do - Mark Wright's reaction before jumping was priceless! He looked absolutely petrified and I am sure when Lauren watches it she won't stop laughing I was half expecting him to shout for his Mum or Arg. It was at this point that Mark alpha male status went out of the window. But in all fairness he did complete the challenge along with Anthony Cotton who upon landing started crying and Lorraine Chase who threw up in the bushes for a good 5 minutes after. Crissy Rock however did not complete the challenge and chickened out at the last minute, but subsequently had to wait for her teeth to be delivered back to her,  it would seem that you have to remove dentures before sky diving!

 Team 2 it would seem drew the short straw in more ways than one. I would much prefer jumping out of a plan to canoeing. I'm pretty sure Dougie would have been the first to push Stephanie out just for some peace and quiet. But he did get his own back when he attempted to get into the canoe with her and instead capsized her...priceless!

One way or another they all eventually arrived at the temporary camp for the night where they all had a bed waiting for them in a cave, which could only be described as smelling of dead animal carcase. To no surprise they all decided that the smell was too much and slept outside under the stars next to the campfire. I am not entirely sure which i would have preferred the safety of the cave with the smell of carcase or the open wilderness.

Day 2 was not about to become their friend as in the first typically grotesque Bushtucker trial – Scales of Justice – the campmates remained split into their teams and faced being dunked in fish gut water.

The trial saw the two teams of five being suspended above two tanks which contained fish guts, and slime.
The task required the celebrities to reach into locked boxes in front of them - using only their mouths - and obtain stars and keys that could be used to unlock other boxes. The team who unlocked all the boxes first would escape a dunking, get the luxury camp and win dinner for the camp.

Freddie somehow completely fluffed this up and only managed to scoop out 1 of the 2 stars from his box of mealworms while the other team finished. Freddie was still hunting for his second star even after the other team had achieved victory. I just don't under stand how he couldn't find the stars - the ends were sticking up!

Following the task, the winning team – Mark, Fatima, Antony, Crissie and Lorraine – were whisked off to luxury camp Croc Creek. Meanwhile, the losers – Dougie, Jessica, Willie, Freddie and Stefanie were taken to Snake Rock where they will have basic rations and no perks. Which resulted in more whinging from Stephanie the vegetarian.

The teams will remain separated for the foreseeable future to compete for food and luxuries, with Mark and Freddie going head to head in  tonight’s Greasy Spoon Bushtucker Trial...can't wait I cannot imagine Mark doing this for one second.

One thing I will say is its nice to see that the Mark you see in Towie is the real Mark Wright. He has so far come across as a genuinely lovely guy who just loves to hug people and my bets are on Anthony becoming his new Arg. How Lauren kept him for so many years is beyond me I am unsure how long he will last though - he has already announced he misses his Mum, aww bless! I cant wait to see more of him. I also find it strange that they have split Jessica and Mark up - surely that would have been TV gold.

Get me outta here!!!

It's that time of year again... time for I'm a celebrity down under. As usual there are a few we know the others not so much, but may grow on us. 


There are only 2 contestants at present that I am interested in and they are Mark Wright and Jessica Jane Clement or aka the eye candy for this year. I am pretty sure we may be in for a reenactment of Jordan and Peter again. 


I'm sure after Mark's hectic love life this is going to be a well deserved break for him, however I am not sure how well it will go down with Lauren or Sam. You cant blame them Jessica Jane is hot stuff - I certainly think we will see another iconic bikini shower shot again! Lets be truthful Mark is not one to shy away from a hot girl whether she has a ring on her finger or not! Jessica Jane's fiance Lee Stafford better not be the jealous type. Who knows how Mark will react being away from Essex for so long, I reckon there could be withdrawal symptoms!

Oh the sincerity!

For someone who has been kicked of the X-Factor Frankie Cocozza seems pretty happy with himself and seems to be almost proud of his one week bender and sex romp scandal! I am no guy however I am sure that there are a lot of guys giving him a high five for the latter!

I am however curious to find out what he has been doing in the studios - he is clearly not ready and grown up enough to cope with fame - I wonder which idiot has taken him on...surely not Simon Cowell?

 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2060189/Frankie-Cocozza-axed-X-Factor-My-6-night-cocaine-bender.html

The X-tra addition

So we have all seen the papers -X-Factor bosses have decided to fill Frankie Cocaine Cocazza's place with one of the 4 that got kicked off in the first week! This now means that either Amelia, James, 2 Shoes or Jonjo could now make it back into the live shows and maybe even the final....how is that fair? Surely the simplest option was to reinstate Johnny Robinson as if it hadn't have been a double eviction he would still be in anyway?


I am sure Frankie is hanging his head in shame someone, this is one decision he is likely to regret for the rest of his life. It has also been announced that he has been edited from the M&S advert, however if you actually watch it closely he is still in the group shot and they still use his voice, they have simply edited out the close up shot of his solo. Not great editing if you ask me!


Back to the 4 with the second life line. My bets are on Amelia or James. In all fairness I cant even remember Jonjo's performance and the pregnant one from 2 Shoes is surely quite heavily pregnant now and will just get worse - plus they annoy the hell out of me. They are try hard wannabes who see themselves as a cross between the next additions to TOWIE and Sheilas Wheels , and they clearly are not!

3 is the lucky number!!!

It would seem that our prays have been answered, after last weekends double eviction it has also hit the papers this morning that the rock wannabe stop out that is Frankie Cocozza has been axed from the show after breaking a 'Golden Rule'!

Does this mean that in another shock sensation that they will have no eviction this weekend?... or perhaps they will bring Johnny Robinson back, only time will tell!


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2058998/X-Factor-2011-Frankie-Cocozza-kicked-breaking-golden-rule.html

X-tra elimination!!!!

This week’s x-factor we saw an x-tra elimination with their double elimination on Sunday. I know that everyone was screaming at the TV when they announced that Frankie was once again safe.... seriously who is voting for him? My personal opinion is that Simon must have a call centre set up at one of his houses and has hired a load of elves to call in to save him...seems like a pretty logical idea! Let's be fair the arguments that Frankie causes between the judges is enough reason for Simon to keep Frankie in - I am sure it's helping the ratings.

You do have to feel sorry for Louis - however I did wonder if maybe both of his acts were going to get the chop - I would love to know what was going through his head. Despite the departure of Johnny Robinson I am sure we haven't seen the last of him just yet.

On a more positive note the performance by Florence and the Machine was amazing. However one thing that has pondered me for years as I cant say I follow her ... who is the machine?

Performance of the week goes to Marcus Collins :- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vT5IfjvNjBI

This week we wave farewell to Johnny Robinson and The Risk.

TOWIE

Well that was an eventful penultimate episode to say the least.

For those of you who did watch it I think you would agree that Lauren G clearly has no idea how to keep her dignity or play it cool, from someone who has just been through a break up that is not the way to play it or act in front of his family - I can safely say that if Mark goes back there he is an absolute fool, and if his family and friends didn’t already know it, she is a psycho! She embarrassed herself beyond belief and I am pretty sure everyone around wish she had just shut her mouth and let the ground swallow her up.

On the subject of Lauren G again...what is going on with her face - she’s always been a funny looking one and I can never decide if I think she is attractive but either the lighting and camera angle were unflattering or she is rather unfortunate and bad at makeup!!!

I am sorry - but although I understand Marias rationale behind the party - I couldn't quite believe that someone would have a wedding party as their 30th party theme! I understand that she is upset she hasn't married before she was 30, but please, a wedding themed party dos seem a little extreme and even more extreme to turn up in a horse and carriage, have bridesmaids and throw a bouquet, but each to their own I guess.

Reality Ville is back!

Apologies for being absent from your lives for some time and during some special reality TV golds, but what can I say break ups and house moving do take it toll - I am no Lauren Goodger though and kept my dignity in the process!